I am looking for something but I am pretty sure that I will never found it, because I don’t know what it is that I am looking for. State of confusion, mental and physical disorientation put me into a surreal world, a path that takes me everywhere, but nowhere. If I am looking for something I don’t have it and I don’t know what it is because I am not sure what I want anymore. I still haven’t found what I am looking for. Now I feel like a plastic body walking around aimlessly within a army of robots configured to be what they are not. If I must become what I am not, I don’t actualy know what I am neither what I want. So now I just try to be what has left of me, picking up the pieces and then I will put them up for sale. Carry on what’s left of a life that made sense back then but now it lost all meaning in the realms of a confused and frustrated mind, getting old by the second, looking for something that I still couldn’t define consciously what it is. No squemes, no desires, now I am what I should be, the uncouncious mind trasnformed into nothing real.
To be confused means having lots of alternatives to go for. In this case, I have no alternatives but just to be. But to define who I am has become the hardest thing to do. I got lost between so many long lost opportunities. People come and go but they never stay. It’s like people don’t talk properly when I am around. Eventhough my path is obscure, I am still riding along with the same old shoes, carrying fucked up memories of a life that might have never be mine. It’s like reality lasts a second and then everything just desapear, goes away like leaves in the wind. I feel like being carried away by some invisible force that somehow controls me, I feel like a voodoo doll being manipulated by so called super humans. In fact most of the time I feel nothing, I am just confused and eager to find what I am not looking for.